Gertrude opened her eyes. She felt something soft and plush between her legs.

Dim illumination filtered from under the door, and when she began to move under the sheets, a few LEDs in the ceiling slowly spread a gentle glow, just enough to see the surroundings and avoid accidents without being disturbed. She was lying in her bed with someone. As soon as her senses fully returned to her, she knew exactly what she had done and been doing. She saw flashes of bodies together, of fingers slick with pleasure and tongues strung by mixed spittle. Tiny, shy moans from one and brazen, desperate threats of ravishment from the other, playing their roles in consummation of a simmering lust.

Her determination returned to her. She smiled to herself with satisfaction.

“Monika. You didn’t disappear, my little princess.” She whispered.

Gertrude gingerly turned on her side, and pulled the warm, slim girl lying with her in bed closer to herself. She pressed her chest to Monika’s back, wrapping one hand over her chest and another between her legs. Monika’s tail, wrapped around one of Gertrude’s legs, quivered in a way that transferred into Gertrude’s own flesh. The difference in their heights was stark and intoxicating in the morning as it had been when Gertrude picked her up last night. Curled up in bed, Gertrude could imagine her body as a half-moon in the center of which all of Monika could be contained. Her little genius Loup, older by many years and shorter by a nearer measure– she could not resist herself and drew her head closer to Monika’s brown-blond hair, nibbling on the side of one dog-like ear.

“Gertrude? Hey– c’mon– are you still–?”

“I could fuck you a dozen times.” Gertrude replied with a satisfied grunt.

“I– I don’t know that I could take that many right now–”

Monika turned her head partially over her shoulder, one eye closed and the other open.

Gertrude’s fingers got up to mischief between her legs–

She wanted to feel her stir– to watch her curl with pleasure–

“Not now, okay?” Monika said, shuddering as Gertrude teased her.

Dutifully, Gertrude’s hand lifted and came to rest on Monika’s lower belly.

The hand on her chest would not move so easily.

“You’re actually such a horndog. When were you lead astray like this?” Monika sighed.

“I’ve been corrupted for as long as I’ve lived.” Gertrude whispered mischievously in her ear.

Monika folded her ears in response to Gertrude trying to tease her there too.

Gertrude let out a little frustrated grunt.

“I can feel you looking at me like a piece of meat. I wonder if it was always like this.”

“You’ve always been dear to me.”

Monika feigned disgust, but then laughed to show she wasn’t really being serious.

Her body pushed back against Gertrude, curling closer, consenting to some of the demands she had silently made. Gertrude pressed forward, holding her closer, feeling her skin.

She relished getting to hold Monika in the afterglow.

Gertrude had never slept with different partners two nights in a row.

It was a lifestyle the Imbrium silently condemned as indecent. She only heard of such things in scandalous terms. She had prevented herself from even contemplating such things– now she wondered how she could have denied these feelings this entire time. She had so much love for Monika but it did not eclipse her love for Victoria– or Ingrid–

Being able to share physical affection with many people close to her– it felt freeing.

Monika seemed contented too.

“Honestly, I’m having fun. I never thought of myself doing this kind of thing–.”

“Having a lover?” Gertrude said, whispering as if trying to get through her folded ears.

Monika’s tail unfurled from Gertrude’s leg and began to wave gently.

“I thought about what you said to me back then, Gertrude– It’s nice to feel wanted.”

“I love you, Monika. I want you to be part of my life. I’m overjoyed you’re here.”

Monika was turning redder from her cheeks to the nape of her neck and even her shoulders.

Back when they were both trapped in the nebulous space of the Blue weather–

Gertrude had meant what she said.

When her mind was singularly focused on Elena, she had been blind to everyone else who was dear to her. She neglected them, and even hurt them. Now she was able to see how many more people mattered to her– she could see how much Monika meant to her.

And she was happy that it was not too late to demonstrate those feelings and receive the feelings of others.

Maybe Monika could also see her in a different light now.

Just a few days ago she wouldn’t have imagined sleeping with her.

At least, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to imagine it.

Now she felt boundless affection for her.

“I want to be in your life too Gertrude– but I am not your replacement princess.” Monika said.

“Nobody’s my replacement princess.” Gertrude said.

“You just called me princess, Gertrude. And you called me a princess while doing all kinds of things to me last night. I thought it was hot back then– but now I am a little concerned.”

Gertrude couldn’t help but let out a bit of a laugh. She really was such a beast sometimes.

“I suppose I did– but I didn’t mean it in that way. Really– I don’t see you as a replacement at all. I’m not that disrespectful. This is about us, not about Elena or anyone else.”

Monika sighed. She rubbed herself against Gertrude’s chest, wagging her tail.

“It’s not that. What I mean is– I know how Ingrid looks at you, I can’t just take you away–”

“Nobody’s taking me away. I still intend to be with Ingrid too.”

For a moment Monika quieted down.

Hopefully she was intrigued by the prospect.

“Well– if you say so. But for now, think of her as your partner and me as your friend. A close friend. I’m happy to– get physical with you– but I’m still sorting out my own emotions, you know. I don’t know how often I will be able to reciprocate your inexhaustible lusts.”

“My inexhaustible lusts, huh. Well. Ingrid is my friend too.” Gertrude said, laughing a bit.

They had both been through a lot lately–

Gertrude had not realized she might have been moving too fast.

Monika especially had been in a very fragile place.

“As a friend, I am here for whatever you need. Please keep that in mind, Monika. I– I really don’t want to lose you. No matter what you decide, I want you to feel safe with me.”

“You won’t lose me, Gertrude. I promise you.”

Monika turned over in bed, slipping out of Gertrude’s grasp and coming to face her.

Her sleepy face, with her golden hair falling over her soft features–

So ravishingly beautiful! How had Gertrude not seen it sooner?

Their eyes met and they held each other’s gazes, close and tender.

Monika leaned closer, tipped her head and kissed Gertrude, taking her lips gently, carefully.

Gertrude did her best to rein in her lust. It was a romantic, simple kiss– not like last night.

She was satisfied just seeing herself in Monika’s eyes.

“Honestly your problem is– you tired me out away too quickly. You have to learn to pace yourself.” Monika said. She put on a mischievous little smile while pushing Gertrude.

“It’s just too maddening– I can’t control myself when you’re acting so cute.”

“God in heaven, you really are a problem.”

“I love you. I want to show it to you again and again.”

Monika seemed barely able to withstand the barrage of affection, and simply curled up with her face to Gertrude’s chest. In turn Gertrude stroked her hair and scritched her ears.

However, they could not remain too long.

She had to leave the room early enough not to be seen by anyone– or run into Ingrid.

Though there was still some sorting out of things that had to happen–

Gertrude felt positive about her relationships in a way she never had before.

She felt freer to do whatever she wanted.

To explore her own desires beyond the narrow confines she had defined for herself.

Or allowed others to define for her.

---

Later in the morning,

a pair of mess hall tables pushed together became a little nexus of activity.

“Liver!” Ingrid cried out cheerfully.

“Liver!” Monika joined in, waving her fork in the air.

“Liver!” Nile shouted, raising both hands in a celebratory fashion.

Victoria looked down at the plate. She turned her dispassionate gaze on Gertrude.

Gertrude, meanwhile, simply stared at the lot of them and thought, maybe she had too much of a thing for Loup women. Did all of them realize that? She felt strange all of a sudden.

Dressed in her grey officer’s jacket, and wearing a garrison cap instead of her hat, she sat between her companions. All of them at the breakfast table, eating, joking around, cheering. In comparison to the exuberant women around her Gertrude could not help but look sullen.

“Master, you ought to clean out your plate. Liver has numerous health benefits. It’s highly nutritious– it’s even thought to improve sexual function.” Azazil said.

“Engage ‘quiet mode’ or something.” Gertrude said, gritting her teeth.

Azazil smiled and shrugged.

Saying nothing more before elegantly taking a piece of liver on her fork and eating it.

“Listen to her.” Nile said. “She’s not wrong. As your doctor, I better see an empty plate.”

Victoria continued to stare at the liver before forking a piece and eating it, without much reaction to its taste or texture. She ate with the ease of a noblewoman and the speed of a soldier, cleaning her plate quickly without looking desperate. It was a strange marvel.

Gertrude looked around at everyone and almost wanted to joke that the table was getting a bit crowded even for a six-seater but– this was what she wanted after all.

Typically Gertrude had breakfast in the Iron Lady’s mess with Ingrid — a custom recently paused and now recently returned to– and sometimes Monika joined them if she was not busy or if she wanted to tease Ingrid or Gertrude. Victoria had hardly ever joined them before recent events, and Nile only seemed to drop in to bother them or to deliver news. Now everyone seemed to have some tacit understanding that they were all welcome for their presence alone, which was great. They used this understanding mainly to bother Gertrude, which was not so great. However, Ingrid and Nile were getting along, Monika seemed positively radiant, Victoria was not adversarial toward anyone, and Azazil had actually shut up when asked. An entire table full of beautiful women she had an interest in. This was perhaps as close to bliss as Gertrude could get– and she had more than earned all of the teasing that was thrown her way anyway. She intended to make her mistakes up to all the women around the table someday and perhaps the stem the tide a bit.

Someday–

Breakfast that morning was fried and coarse chopped liver on black bread moistened in gravy, with a side of fruit porridge and a fortified fruit drink made from vitamin gel.

Part of Nile’s influence on the crew’s nutrition.

Some time ago she had made certain edicts about the typical crew breakfast–

“Looking at the ship’s food supplies I am shocked that you had all this canned liver and yet you were all eating sausages that are half pig fat by volume and keeping yourselves awake with coffee to disguise your poor health. For an elite vessel and an elite crew, we need elite nutrition!” Nile had said. “More liver and fruit, less cased animal fat and boiled grains!”

“Ma’am– some of the sausages have liver in them?” Karen had tried to explain–

“As the ship’s doctor I want to see those cans of liver start moving in that kitchen!”

“Yes ma’am!”

Nile had been so authoritative that Karen apparently forgot her own rank in the vessel.

Remembering that episode and now seeing its results, Gertrude mumbled at the table.

“It wasn’t like we never ate the liver before.”

“What was that, dear?” Nile asked.

“Nothing.”

Gertrude poked at and then tentatively tasted the liver.

Not bad– it was cooked with some onion and garlic and did not taste too much like iron.

At least she would not go hungry for what she had planned–

“Since you’re all here: it’s time to do more than just annoy me all day. You’re going to train!”

Though she meant the table in general, her index finger was decisively aimed at the wall.

Several skeptical gazes fell on her response.

As they spoke, the Iron Lady was engaged in crossing over the fleshy field discovered beneath the Abyss of Kesar. Their goal was to arrive at the “Primary Edifice” of the so-called Island-3 complex and plunder its long-forgotten technological riches– Gertrude knew that at least there would be a STEM “administrator token” waiting for her, allowing her to unlock more secrets within these facilities. However, the Iron Lady was not hurtling pell-mell into the unknown, not after Ingrid’s close call near the silica tree pit. Without hope of support or reinforcements they had to be careful. They had decided to allow at least 48 hours to transpire between their arrival, so that everyone could be properly prepared, and so as to be able to move cautiously. Sensors were trained on the “Enterprise” as well as on the local wildlife, making sure that the Iron Lady did not alarm or disturb any threatening force– and that they would be able to detect any such threat before it locked its jaws on their flesh.

Though she agreed to the pace, Gertrude intended not to idle away the entire time.

She had an idea that was both productive and amusing.

“We’ll do physical training, rescue training, close combat drills, the works. I want all of us to spend the day getting a baseline idea of our strengths and going over technique. We can’t have another situation like the ‘Crown Spire’ incident a few days ago–”

Monika folded her ears–

“That was you– that ‘situation’ was your fault.” Victoria said, sharply, at Gertrude.

Though Gertrude had at first been lured away by Azazil–

And lost herself in the station and the depths of the blue pools–

She refused to accept sole culpability!

“No it wasn’t. It was nobody’s fault. We still need to train more.” Gertrude said.

She reached out and patted Monika on the head.

Monika feebly resisted, pawing at Gertrude’s hand on her head, but eventually giving in.

Neither of them had told anyone else about their liaison. Yet.

(As far as Gertrude knew.)

(She would get around to having such conversations eventually–)

“At any rate it doesn’t matter whose fault it is– we need to be more prepared for extreme, unprecedented situations. That means keeping our skills sharp and our wits focused!”

“And how is physical training going to help with ‘psychogenic illness’?” Nile asked.

She knew the meaning of that and also knew that Gertrude knew what she meant.

However there was no satisfactory response.

“You know it won’t, but we still need to do it!”

Gertrude had a selfish reason for wanting to drag all of the ship’s VIPs into the training gallery– she wanted to observe someone like Victoria, with psionic abilities and great martial skill. She wanted to observe her and Nile having to use their abilities spontaneously. She wanted to see if Ingrid could contend with them despite their strange abilities, and whether she could do so as well. Whether Ingrid could apply pressure to them. Whether Monika might display similar abilities, having survived the ordeal of the blue weather alongside Gertrude. Whether they could each similarly pressure one another with their skills as well.

More than basics about psionics, Gertrude wondered how far the gulf in ability stretched between them. When it came to psionics, Gertrude did not know the principles, but she could still use the powers at will. She wanted to see the others deploying their skills.

After all, if these abilities stemmed from “emotions”– Gertrude had these in spades.

However, fine technique, a breadth of experience– that was something she did not have.

And it was something Victoria and Nile might not be able to explain to her in an afternoon.

(Nile had already made excuses for her own lack of teaching ability, after all.)

She might be able to observe it, however– just as she had observed it within the blue space.

That was how she acquired these abilities in the first place, she thought.

Experiencing, feeling it through her skin, drowning in the ocean of those emotions.

So if she could push Nile or Victoria to greater emotions, they might show her something.

“Anyquestions?” Gertrude asked.

Victoria looked at Gertrude with the same dispassionate expression, typical of herself, and merely shrugged. She seemed a lot more cooperative recently– Gertrude appreciated it.

Ingrid crossed her arms and smiled. “I guess Clostermann can be on patrol today.”

“I knew you’d approve.” Gertrude smiled back. “Everyone form up in the training gallery–”

“Except me~”

Monika interrupted, wagging her tail and waving her hands.

“I’m a non-combatant~”

She spoke in a cute sing-song voice.

“Except Monika.” Gertrude said.

Monika put on a big smile.

“I have a question.” Nile grumbled.

She glanced at Monika and then back at Gertrude.

“You’re coming with.” Gertrude said, anticipating what she would ask.

Nile pointed a finger at herself with consternation. “I’m a doctor!”

“Yes. You’ll be looking after us in the training gallery.”

“Ah. Then I won’t be training.”

“You’ll be training too obviously.” Gertrude said.

“Obviously? I don’t understand why you want someone who swore an oath not to do harm–”

“You won’t be harming anyone–” Gertrude began to protest–

Ingrid grunted.

“Gertrude if she doesn’t want to, you can’t just browbeat her into joining your circus.”

Gertrude was surprised to see this– since when did Ingrid stick up for Nile of all people?

“Actually, I can do exactly that. I’m the ship’s Commander. I do not relish doing so but all of you agreed to listen to me. Anyway– Monika is the only one here who is exempt from training because she is genuinely a total non-combatant who won’t be endangered, but Nile is going to be a field medic in the upcoming operation. So I want to make sure that if I have to delegate command or reconnaissance or rescue duties to her that she can handle herself.” Gertrude said. Another excuse to mask that she wanted to see if Nile would use her psionics to resolve a situation if necessary– and how. She could not exactly say that either to the psychics in their midst or in front of non-psionics like Ingrid being kept in the dark.

Nile stuck her hands into her coat pockets.

“Fine, when you put it that way.” She put on a glum expression.

“Is Azazil participating?” Victoria asked suddenly.

“Excellent question.”

Gertrude glanced at her and then at Azazil.

“You can acknowledge verbally– I’m ordering you to help us with the training.”

Azazil’s glossy, dark-colored lips curled into a sadistic smile.

“Master, my body is yours to do with as you please. You can beat me until you–”

“Please be quiet again.”

Gertrude physically covered Azazil’s lips with her hand.

She then suddenly glanced at Ingrid wearing a clear anxiety on her face.

“What the fuck are you looking at me for? I don’t care about your weird fetishes or about hers.” Ingrid said, narrowing her eyes and averting her gaze, clearly annoyed.

“I just know– her provocations can sometimes bother– some of you.” Gertrude said.

“She’s never gonna bother me as much as she clearly bothers you.” Ingrid said bluntly.

Gertrude flinched. Her worried gaze then moved to Victoria, who quietly shrugged.

“It’s not like this is unprecedented. You aren’t a stranger to getting violent with women, Gertrude. Maybe you enjoy such expressions of power.” Victoria said calmly. “Remember when you slapped me across the face? You almost knocked me down; it was so aggressive. Did you like it when I fell? Was it sexually titillating to you to strike me down like that?”

Her tone was so relaxed that it was surreal to listen to.

Why was she so verbose now, in this of all conversations?!

“Huh.” Ingrid looked suddenly far too interested.

“I was a teenager! It was a stupid mistake!” Gertrude said desperately.

“I’ve forgiven you. Did you like it?” Victoria asked again.

“Of course not! Stop taking this woman’s slander seriously!”

There was no doubt she enjoyed exercising power over other women–

but she obviously drew the line at outright abuse!

“I think we’re getting off-topic.” Nile said, grinning.

“Thank you.” Gertrude withdrew her hands from Azazil’s face, watched her remain silent, and then sighed with relief. That Azazil remained grinning did not concern her then.

By all appearances, it was decided–

they would spend the day in the training gallery on the Iron Lady–

“Is there any incentive for us not to half-ass it?” Ingrid said. “Unless there is a certification on the line I do the bare minimum. How about some kind of reward for winning the training?”

“No? How do you even win at training?” Gertrude said, confused by the very insinuation.

She had ordered them to train! They were supposed to just go do it!

And what did Ingrid mean that she always did the bare minimum?!

Gertrude knew she could be brazen and dismissive, but this–!

“Whoever wins goes on a date with Gertrude.” Victoria said suddenly.

Cutting the Commander’s train of thought down where it stood.

What’s gotten into you today?!— Gertrude really wanted to shout this out.

However she was so blind-sided that she could not respond quickly.

“You already went on a date with her.” Ingrid said, narrowing her eyes.

“And I’ll earn my second date today.” Victoria said glibly.

Ingrid started clearly flexing her hands under the table.

“I’ve been really gracious lately, little miss. But that tone of yours is begging for it.”

“Put all of your anger toward me– into earning a date with Gertrude.” Victoria said.

Nile grinned. “You know, I’m starting to think I should put in some effort too.”

Ingrid stared sharply at Nile–

but then seemed to sigh and let her anger out like air from a balloon.

Gertrude sat there half stunned. “I– I haven’t said– I haven’t agreed–”

Monika stuck her hand up again. “If it’s for a date with Gertrude, I’m rejoining the training!”

“Since when are you interested in her?” Ingrid grumbled mostly to herself.

“You have work to do!” Gertrude cried out at almost the same time.

“I’m like five minutes away from finished!” Monika said. “Don’t underestimate me!”

“Then it’s settled. Whoever wins the training will go on a date with Gertrude.” Victoria said.

“Fine! But if we end up sparring I am making all of you taste the floor!” Ingrid grunted.

“Such fire! I really wanted to coast by– but it’s gotten too interesting now.” Nile said.

“I probably can’t win– but I’ll bring someone down with me.” Monika said with a little grin.

“Don’t join just to get in the fucking way!” Ingrid cried out.

All of the contests seemed fired up–

Gertrude could hardly believe how any of this transpired.

At least they were motivated now.

“How did this–? Oh whatever, fine. You all do what you want.” Gertrude said, exasperated.

Victoria was probably just trying to get everyone motivated for Gertrude’s sake.

However, Gertrude was not about to thank her for complicating the event like this.

Especially after she glanced at her, and saw the Shimii wearing a small, self-satisfied grin.

Meeting her eyes as if to confirm the meaning behind her machinations.

That being said– it was not as if Gertrude would pass up a date night with any of them.

Except maybe Azazil, quietly wearing a wry grin and watching everything too closely.

She feared whatever torments that dark intellect was brewing up for her next.

---

Irmingard class vessels had access to training facilities roughly the same size as their lavish social pods; therefore much larger and better equipped in comparison to similar facilities in other vessels. The Iron Lady, as an inquisitorial vessel, often brought aboard police forces from several stations for joint training exercises, which Gertrude and her forces helped facilitate. The training gallery was often configured for whatever specialized training they had done last, since the daily drills tended to be done in the hangar. When Gertrude brought Nile, Monika, Ingrid, Victoria and Azazil to the gallery that day there were a series of foam and plastic boards in the center of the gallery simulating tight alleyways and corridors. The bare metal walls had diagrams of standardized “tower-type” station hallways as well as non-standard layouts from “city-type” stations like Nichori, Serrano and Stralsund, marked up with the lengths of streets, widths of alleyways, locations of corners, and probable locations for ambushes, snipers, and other sorts of attackers within these layouts.

“Help me move these. Right now I just want to assess physical condition.” Gertrude said.

“She’s gonna make us run laps.” Ingrid sighed.

Monika and Nile made similar disgruntled expressions, so similar they seemed like mockery.

“What happened to all your energy? Don’t you want that date?” Gertrude asked.

Victoria was the first to step forward and start moving some of the foam boards away.

Ingrid noticed Monika and Nile making faces and crossed her arms, baring teeth.

“Nah actually. Have fun losers.” Ingrid said, feigning that she was leaving.

Gertrude was startled. “Hey– Hey Ingrid, c’mon– I didn’t mean to– Hey–!”

Ingrid peered over her own shoulder with a little grin on her face.

Gertrude had sounded downright pathetic trying to get her to come back.

“As long as you’re invested in it too.” Ingrid said, rejoining the group.

Monika and Nile covered their mouths to suppress laughter.

Shooting them both a glare, Gertrude grumbled and got started moving the walls around.

“Azazil, help me out.” Gertrude said.

Azazil stood off to the side with her fingers interlocked in front of herself as if waiting for something. She smiled and narrowed her eyes and made a demure gesture.

“Why aren’t you doing anything?” Gertrude demanded.

Silence. Save for a little smile that seemed to say more than words.

“You did tell her not to speak.” Nile said.

“Ugh. I can’t believe this. You can talk, Azazil! Explain why you’re just standing there!”

“Gladly, master.” Azazil began. Gertrude was already shivering in anticipation of whatever ridiculous things she might say. However, her logic turned out to be infuriatingly prosaic. “I have assessed the master’s physical fitness, and I believe that it would be good for her health to complete this task without assistance. For the master’s health, I remain uninvolved unless absolutely needed. Should the master require drinks or perhaps a massage, I can assist.”

“It sounds like I am not actually in control of you!” Gertrude shouted.

Azazil remained silent with a little smile on her face.

Gertrude almost thought there was a bit of sadism in her expression.

“I don’t know whether this behavior makes me trust her more or less.” Ingrid said.

Monika and Nile engaged in exaggerated shrugging on the sidelines.

“You two mimes come help instead!” Gertrude shouted at them.

Eventually, with the collaboration of everyone but Azazil, the training ground was prepared.

The physical activity had not even begun in earnest and Gertrude was already sweating.

“Okay, get ready and warm up! We’re going to start by running five laps.”

They did not have a circular track to run, so they would run from one wall to the next.

Touching a wall and returning to the first constituted a lap.

There were lanes on the floor prepared for each contestant.

Gertrude began unbuttoning her jacket and the shirt beneath. She stripped down to a sports bra and her pants. She could run in her boots but sweating in the coat felt oppressive.

Ingrid stripped almost exactly as Gertrude, shedding her jacket and shirt. She exposed similar underwear over her wiry frame, lean muscles much more pronounced than on Gertrude.

Nile took her lab coat and shoes off, but nothing else. Her turtleneck and pants stayed on.

Victoria took nothing off.

She continued to wear her short cape, her waistcoat, fancy shorts, thigh socks.

Monika took off her coat only.

Already used to long hours laboring in her green and black bodysuit.

Azazil, meanwhile–

“You’re going to run in a dress?” Gertrude asked, staring at the “servant.”

“No.” Azazil said. “It would be unfair– as a biomechanoid I have greater endurance.”

Gertrude was torn in two on how to respond to this.

Part of her, in the days since she had met Azazil in the Crown Spire and saved her from her serfdom in the dead facility– she was reluctant to “command” Azazil. That would invite a sense of guilt and responsibility over having total ownership over a servile body that had no agency in her relationship. Azazil had insinuated multiple times that this was her “design” as a “servant.” Gertrude had pushed back– despite her authority, she wanted to nurture relationships of mutual understanding. Rejection from Azazil should have been welcome. It meant Gertrude did not “own” her completely and they had a more equal relationship.

Part of her was stubborn and easily became angry and resentful when she truly wanted something and could not have it. Part of her wanted to make unreasonable demands.

Even something incredibly petty and that should have been easy to overlook, set her off.

These two things dueled inside her, engaging in perhaps no more than a single sword clash.

For less than a microsecond.

“I order you to run.” Gertrude said bitterly.

“Ah–” Azazil blinked. “Err– STEMCHAIN ERROR 404. TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN.”

Azazil clearly faked falling to the ground, slowly lowering herself to lying on one side, cheek resting on her hands. She moved almost like a girl settling in for a nap on the couch.

Gertrude glared at her with her hands balled up into fists.

“Can you forget her?” Ingrid said with a sigh. “She makes you hysterical. Just let her go.”

“I am never hysterical.” Gertrude said.

Proving how not-hysterical she was, Gertrude walked over to Azazil and contemptuously dropped her jacket and shirt on her as if she was a piece of furniture. Azazil had no reaction to this. Serene, she continued to lay on the floor with her eyes closed.

Ignoring her, Gertrude made her way to the opposite wall.

Victoria and Ingrid followed after, with Nile and Monika more reluctantly behind them.

“Computer, keep tabs on performance. Since this is apparently a contest.” Gertrude said.

Nobody could cry about the results if it was not a human being’s judgment.

Once everyone was lined up at the right wall of the training gallery, and facing the left–

A computerized countdown on the wall started them off.

Gertrude concentrated on the strange organs in her eyes, so she could see the colors again–

When everyone took off running, she could see the color around all of them.

Monika and Ingrid were locked in an almost dead heat right from the beginning. Ingrid was dexterous, well-trained and muscular, her aura brilliantly red, while Monika was light and surprisingly quick on her feet with a blue and green aura. Neither was expected to run a marathon in their day to day and did not have a very precise running form, but they kept ahead of Gertrude. Victoria and Nile fought for the head of the pack– Gertrude could see something anomalous in Victoria’s feet as she reached the wall just after Nile.

Saint’s Skin: Annoint!

There was a voice as if speaking right to Gertrude’s brain.

She made a subconscious connection that Victoria had used this ‘Saint’s Skin’ and that this is what it should be referred to. As if a myriad voices immediately declared the event–

Down her legs and feet, Victoria’s aura became thicker and imbued with red and purple color.

Consequently, her running pace quickened–

Nevertheless, Nile kept ahead of her, and ahead of them all.

Her aura had seemingly every color of the rainbow with the bands fluctuating in width and thickness, but she was not actively using some form of psionics, because Gertrude could seemingly tell when that was the case semi-instinctually. Rather, Nile’s running form was the most graceful, and she was taller than Victoria or Ingrid, with longer and slightly thicker legs than the rest. She must not have been speaking purely from education when she criticized Gertrude’s legs– it seemed her own were quite well-trained for a doctor!

Gertrude was not purposefully running slowly, but she was still not catching up to Ingrid or Monika. Her running form was better but she was still falling incrementally behind.

It didn’t matter if she won– it was not like she could date herself–

but she still found it slightly galling.

A commander wasn’t intended to be any stronger than her specialized subordinates.

However, Gertrude still felt like she had to mean business or risk being teased even more.

On the second lap, having witnessed Victoria move her aura to legs–

Seeing first-hand that it was helping her keep pace with Nile–

Gertrude attempted the same. She tried to move the colors down to her legs.

Concentrating on the image of her legs going faster, having more power in them,

more force—

Almost immediately, one of her feet shot out from under her.

Gertrude slipped violently and landed hard on her back.

Ingrid and Monika heard the crash behind them and paused to take stock.

Feeling pathetic, Gertrude waved them off from the floor.

Monika started running again first, while Ingrid paused to laugh at the sight for a second.

According to the computer, while all of this was happening, Nile and Victoria surged ahead.

Very soon the pivotal moment would transpire.

Gertrude turned on her side to watch Nile and Victoria’s lanes as they finished–

With Nile ahead by half a body length.

An instant after the runners touched the wall, the computer declared Nile the victor.

Victoria had taken a very close second.

Between Ingrid and Monika, the latter tired out more quickly, and Ingrid took third place.

Had Ingrid not stopped to laugh at Gertrude she might have made a worthy time.

“I wasn’t going all-out anyway.” Ingrid grumbled.

“You need to give your best. Or I’ll steal Gertrude away.” Victoria said.

Her deadpan tone of voice, combined with the fact that she had just lost– it was ridiculous.

Despite this, it still set Ingrid off.

“Aren’t you embarrassed with yourself?! What’s gotten into you lately?”

“An abiding, maybe even villainous, obsession with pilfering Gertrude. From you.”

It was clear on Victoria’s face she was trying to lighten the mood.

And the results were just as obvious.

Ingrid was clearly trying, but also failing, to ignore Victoria’s obvious and silly provocations.

“Prissy little miss– these bitchy jokes really don’t become you–”

“I’ll become Gertrude’s–”

Nile appeared from behind Victoria and covered her mouth to muffle the next taunt.

“As your doctor, I recommend finding new material soon.” She said, sighing.

Monika managed to collect herself and finished the race while the rest bickered.

She looked the most worn out of them all.

Gertrude encouraged her and patted her on the head.

Again she pawed weakly at her hand but did not protest too much.

With everyone having finished their laps, they took a break.

Nile asked to look over Gertrude.

“I’m sorry– I was tunneling the whole way and didn’t realize you had gotten hurt.”

She prodded Gertrude’s back gently and checked the leg that she had tripped on.

“You will bruise, but nothing is broken. How did you fall?”

“I was clumsy.” Gertrude said, averting her gaze.

“Well– alright.”

Nile raised herself up to full height and smiled a bit helplessly.

“You need to be more careful, or the only date we’ll have is to the infirmary.” Nile said.

“I will. And don’t get too cocky.”

“Well, from a certain perspective, if you keep banging yourself up, I’ll be the only logical choice for company. So if you keep participating it will only increase my chances.”

She grinned and walked over to Monika to check on her as well.

Gertrude resolved to be more careful.

Her next idea for training, however, was a slightly more dangerous one.

“Computer, open up locker three.”

One of the wall panels slid open and a rack extended out from it.

Hung on the rack were several plastic sacks that had faces scrawled on them. They were stuffed with dense gel and steel bearings to achieve a desired weight. Their shape was vaguely humanoid– the sack had limbs with some heft to them, while much of the weight was concentrated in the center of the sack. They were used for practicing basic rescue tactics. A human body was heavy and not always convenient to move and carry, but it was necessary for everyone doing field work to be able to lift civilians, suspects, or their own comrades, and drag them away from danger. It was not only an issue of raw strength– rescue had its own level of technique that demanded practice and perseverance.

“Next up we will go through a rescue course with 100 kg sacks.” Gertrude declared.

“Oh, I made the face on this one.” Ingrid said, pointing at one of the sacks.

That sack had a drawn-on face with X’s scrawled for eyes, dog-like ears, a triangular nose and a lolling tongue. Simulating a dog-like individual who had been stricken senseless.

Monika looked at it and folded her ears slightly.

Nile glanced at Ingrid with a certain interest.

“I see. You have a grudge against your own people.” Victoria said matter-of-factly.

“I can build a grudge against Shimii too real fuckin’ quick.” Ingrid hissed.

“Oh– I wasn’t trying to rile you up anymore.”

“But you’re so fucking talented you just keep doing it anyway!”

“Victoria, please be quiet.” Gertrude said, raising her hands over her face.

On the same lanes upon which they had run, Gertrude brought back some of the foam and plastic obstacles that had been arrayed in the center of the training gallery previously. Knee-high walls; walls with chest-high windows, through which the subject would have to be pushed over; slight ramps up which the subject had to be dragged and then dropped on the other side. The obstacles stood up through rigid internal skeletons and magnets built into the edges that affixed them to the metal floor. With these objects and more from the training gallery’s storage, Gertrude organized identical obstacle courses in each lane. Monika, Ingrid, Victoria and Nile would run the courses with a 100 kg sack in tow, taking it through “rough terrain” foam, over a platform and out of a “window.”

There was also a conspicuous fifth lane which had no obstacles upon it.

Ingrid grinned. “You’re just going to watch this one huh? Not going to try to flex again?”

Gertrude grinned back, completely unashamed.

“I have to preserve my stamina for the date to remain a worthwhile carrot. Doctor’s orders.”

Ingrid frowned. Gertrude was too motivated to be bothered.

This time the sidelines were more appropriate.

She needed to observe Victoria and Nile more closely.

Though she had tripped during the race, she felt that she almost had the trick Victoria was using. Manipulating the colors using psionics might not be that difficult. It was harder to execute psionics here than it was in the blue space– but she almost had it anyway!

She had also learned during the race that psionics did not necessarily make all of the difference between two people’s performance. Back in the blue space, Gertrude remembered smearing herself with red color in order to fend off the blue colors– red seemed to be power and anger, while blue was sluggishness, torpor.

Victoria had clearly been “cheating” using psionics in the race, imbuing her legs with red to catch up, while Nile did not seem to be doing anything with the colors– Nile still won, though not by much. While Ingrid’s performance was tainted by her own capricious attitude, she was not that far behind the two of them, and neither was Monika, at least at first.

Either Victoria was not cheating enough, or psionics did not confer invincible power.

“Alright, get into positions! Pick up the sack and get it through the window!”

Gertrude called out and the participants assembled in their lanes with their sacks.

Once more the computer counted them down and sounded a starting whistle.

Immediately, Ingrid took the sack over her shoulder. She was strong enough for it, and it was a practiced rescue technique, lifting with her knees, tightening her core, properly balancing the weight using both arms. She took off running over the rough terrain, her feet finding purchase among the plastic triangles on the floor, meant to simulate very uneven ground. Ingrid never lost her balance, and each step was meticulous. Unlike in a simple race lap, this was a challenge where her strength and training were on display to everyone.

On the adjacent lane, Monika could hardly lift the sack. She tripped and fell onto it trying to push it onto the course. She was not strong enough to lift it, and it was unwieldy with her narrow shoulders and small frame. It was unlikely she would be in contention.

Despite this she smiled and giggled while struggling with the sack.

Victoria, meanwhile, struggled to lift the sack because her lifting form was awkward. She was a Bayatar, but that made her closer to a traditional martial artist than to a police officer like Ingrid and Gertrude. She never had to seriously learn to lift a heavy load onto her arms and carry it through a course, seriously enough to pass a certification. Ingrid had run this sort of challenge numerous times, and she ran it multiple more times every year. As handy as Victoria looked with a sword, she was only just able to get the sack off the ground, and her awkward hold on it made her move slower, and she threatened to fall with every step.

Ingrid did have one challenger, however–

Nile demonstrated an almost spotless rescue carry and dashed across the course.

She and Ingrid made it to the platform at almost the same time.

Raised to waist-level, the plastic and foam platforms were intended to force the trainee to put the sack down in order to get on the platform and pick it back up on top of the platform to continue progressing. Ingrid easily laid the sack on top of the platform and skipped up– while Nile simply threw the sack over the platform and cleared the thing in a second.

Nile was so brusque and so quick with the obstacle that Ingrid caught sight of it and stood dumbfounded for a moment– when Ingrid ran this course it was for professional training, and she had to treat the sack like a person she was rescuing in order for it to count. Nile was treating it as a sack she could beat around without consequences to save time.

However, Gertrude had never laid down any specific rules about the sack.

Ingrid just assumed them.

So she was not going to intervene against Nile in this case.

Rather than complain, however, Ingrid picked her sack back up and jumped down off the platform to resume the pace. Between them and the window was another series of rough terrain tiles which slowed neither of them down. They both had the running form down.

The window was in sight of both the contestants, and they seemed practically neck and neck.

Both seemed to hit the window at the same time.

Ingrid slowed just a moment, positioning the sack to go through–

Nile leaped through the window with the sack still in tow.

She slammed hard into the ground behind it, crying out and curling up with pain.

“Are you insane?! You’d throw yourself with an unconscious person?!” Ingrid shouted.

She left her sack at the window and ran around to check on Nile.

“It’s fine– it’s just a sack.” Nile called out between heavy breaths.

Though she had landed with the heavy sack on top of her, she was not badly injured.

Sighing, Ingrid shoved her own sack through the window for second place.

Monika never made it, and Victoria struggled every bit of the way.

For the second contest, the winner was clear.

Gertrude had to grumble slightly, however– nobody employed any psionics.

“Come on, you have to give it your all! Take it seriously!” She called out.

Four sweating women, breathing heavily, looked back at her with sudden enmity.

Those sharp gazes cowed Gertrude to smile and back up and stay quiet for a moment.

“For the combat trial–” Victoria breathed in deep, “Who gets to pummel Gertrude–?”

Gertrude raised up her hands in defense, trying to smile charmingly through the whole thing.

“Hey, if you pummel me, what kind of a date will you get in the end?”

“You’re right. I can use my date night to pummel you instead.”

“You should unleash all that spirit on each other and not me– c’mon it’s time to spar!”

Gertrude managed to muster up just enough of an authoritative voice to get everyone moving again after a short break. And toward one another and not toward her.

Instead of lanes for running and for courses, Gertrude had the computer draw up circles on the ground. The circles had a thin center line dividing them and a thicker rim.

“We’ll make it interesting. If you get pushed out of the ring, you lose.” Gertrude said.

This was a typical set of rules for training combat because it allowed for a multiplicity of techniques to achieve the objective. It particularly encouraged takedowns and arrest grabs, which were important for Inquisitorial police to practice. Though the Imbrium had grown more militarized and dangerous the past decade, the standard scenario for any police presence was still to subdue, arrest and transport, not to fight pitched gun battles or eviscerate suspects with vibroblades. Sparring still promoted personal physical strength over arms, even if Gertrude herself had to shoot more people than she had ever grappled. Besides which– Gertrude wanted to see if Nile, dominant as she was, or Victoria, who was full of mystery, would employ their auras in some clever way to get an advantage.

“I’ll have the computer decide the matches.” Gertrude said.

Grateful for the assistance of the predictors in taking such thorny issues out of her hands.

After a moment of thinking the computer displayed the matches on the wall.

Victoria would spar with Monika and Ingrid would spar with Nile to start.

“Monika, you can back out if you want.” Gertrude said.

Though she trusted Victoria not to harm her, as an untrained noncombatant, Monika could hurt herself trying. She had not performed very well in the other contests–

And she had very recently ‘won’ in the terms of this contest anyway.

In Gertrude’s eyes it made no sense for her to go ahead–

“Hmm.” Monika put on a sly little grin. “I’ll show you what I’m capable of, ‘Trude!”

From across the circles on the floor, Victoria nodded her head at Monika and then glanced at Gertrude and signaled with a mysterious thumbs-up. Her expression betrayed no emotion.

Was she trying to suggest Monika would be okay? Gertrude certainly hoped so.

Meanwhile, Ingrid put her hands on her hips, puffed out her chest and grinned.

Her tail waved vigorously.

“Doc, I’m finally going to test you. You’ve got some bite in you– I’m going to see how much!”

Nile looked prematurely exhausted, as if just hearing those words was exertion itself.

“If it’ll help you overcome your concerning behavior toward other Loup–”

“It absolutely won’t!” Gertrude called out. “Don’t throw the match!”

That would have only made Ingrid mad and insulted her.

(And wasted the opportunity to see Nile get at least a little serious–)

“I wasn’t–” Nile began, but was cut off–

“Shut up, Gertrude!” Ingrid shouted. “She won’t! She’s a Loup! She respects me more than that! You better not interrupt us either or I will really come after your stupid ass!”

Ingrid continued to give smoldering looks toward Nile.

Rather than her typical sadism toward Loup, Ingrid seemed excited in a way that almost resembled sporting. If still sporting that was tinged with a bit of sadism–

Gertrude looked at Nile with a puzzled expression.

Nile continued to look exhausted.

What happened between those two?

“At any rate– Gertrude, let us hold the matches sequentially. I’d like to be able to stand by Monika’s match.” Nile asked, trying not to meet Ingrid’s determined gaze.

“Alright.”

“Jeez– nobody believes in me.” Monika said, crossing her arms and pouting.

“More than believing you, it’s my role to insure your health and safety.”

Nile’s earnestness won Monika back instantly, and she smiled as she headed to her ring.

On the other side, Victoria flexed her fingers.

They would not have weapons, but any strikes and grapples were permitted.

Monika in her fire-retardant bodysuit, across from Victoria in her little fancy lad outfit–

It almost seemed ridiculous, but Victoria was the really dangerous one.

Gertrude fixed her eyes to see if Victoria would do anything–

However, her hidden senses found themselves drawn to Monika instead.

As soon as the computer sounded the starting bell–

Monika withdrew something from a pocket– it seemed like a cross on a lanyard.

“Victoria, are you feeling sleepy?”

Hanging from the lanyard, Monika used her finger to sway the cross back and forth.

Gertrude focused the secret flesh in her eyes to see the colors emanating from it.

Monika’s aura had become partially white and partially blue, and a deeper, stronger blue seemed to waft from her hand, like a flameless, heat-less torch. That blue aura spread around Monika, began to cross the ring and ultimately connected to Victoria’s own colors, trying to tinge the surroundings with its torpor-inducing blue. Gertrude felt alarmed at first, wondering if Monika had been possessed again– but the way she taunted Victoria was so silly and neither the pools nor the church manifested in the surroundings. There was no sense of the creature from before. Instead, it must have been Monika in command of her own psionics– or maybe trying to command them without knowing quite what she was doing.

“You got a hypnosis fetish now, Monika?” Ingrid said, cackling for a moment and then yawning deeply after. The blue colors had invisibly suffused her surroundings too.

Gertrude glanced at Ingrid and saw her aura beginning to turn slightly more blue.

Was it having some effect on her?

Nile crossed her arms, her gaze shifting curiously between Monika and Victoria.

Victoria remained impassive as the aura trailed across her body.

Her eyes seemed to trace the path of the aura as it crossed from her shoulder and tried to flood over her. One tendril of blue seemed to slowly pierce inside of her colors.

Just as Gertrude wondered whether to intervene–

Saint’s Skin: Vestment

In a moment, Victoria’s aura seemed to burst the blue bubble that formed around her.

She became wreathed in uniformly purple color emitting an immense pressure.

Walking with a visible certainty toward Monika–

Who, in turn, put away the cross and stepped back out of the ring with a conciliatory expression. Waving her hands as if to try to keep back the approaching Victoria.

“Ah, well, it was worth a try.” Monika said. “I’m just foolin’ around! I concede!”

Victoria stopped in the middle of the ring. Her aura returned to its previous state.

Though– Gertrude thought she saw slightly more purple on it than before.

“Huh?” Ingrid paused, yawning again. “What the hell was that about?”

Monika shrugged with a cute face on as if she had been silly for even trying–

whatever that was.

Gertrude would have to talk to her about it at some point.

Nile stepped forward, looked over Victoria in an almost perfunctory fashion, and then stood by Monika. She glanced at Gertrude and smiled, shaking her head. Nile had definitely seen the auras at play, and she must have understood that Gertrude was similarly concerned about them. “They’re both fine. Nothing happened. Though, Ingrid seems a bit too easily bored by– Monika’s apparent love of the supernatural. Maybe she should have some vitamin jelly before our match to perk herself back up. For her own sake more than mine.”

“Heh, well, it can put me to sleep.” Monika said, again acting cute.

Gertrude fixed her a look.

Monika smiled nervously and waved with the tips of her fingers.

“I’m doing just fine! But you’re right, I am bored. Let’s have some fun.” Ingrid said.

She stretched her arms up, then bent forward, sticking her rear up a bit and touching her knees. Getting herself limbered up while continuing to stare a hole into Nile.

Nile shook her head and reluctantly took her place opposite Ingrid.

“Remember that this is just a friendly sparring match for training purposes.” Gertrude said.

“Ugh, shut up! I know!” Ingrid shouted back.

It was practically a tradition to have that exchange in every training event.

Gertrude was not particularly concerned, however.

As much as Ingrid was passionate, she had never gone so far as to seriously injure someone in a training match. They had been around each other long enough to build that trust.

Gertrude looked at Nile as the combatants sized each other up.

Ingrid did not have any psionic abilities, and her aura was a prickly and wavy blue and green. Aside from the odd sensation of a shape and texture to the aura, Gertrude felt that it was quite ordinary. All Ingrid had on her side was physical training and combat technique.

It was Nile who might display something out of the ordinary.

Even though, thus far, she had not relied on psionics for any of the events.

Then, almost surprising Gertrude, the computer sounded the starting bell.

Ingrid practically pounced on Nile the instant she was allowed.

Her blinding fast attack caught Nile off-guard. Nile had barely raised her arms to defend herself when Ingrid slammed into her and quickly took her back. In a flash of limbs and anger she brought her to the ground in a grapple. Despite the size difference, Ingrid’s aggression was too well-practiced. She attained superior leverage and had Nile almost completely under her control. Nile winced, her face to the ground, Ingrid’s legs and arms locking down her lower body and most of her upper body, leaving Nile only one arm to try to swing. There was something almost erotic to it– Gertrude avoided the sight, remembering what Victoria had said at breakfast. However, when she averted her gaze, she saw Victoria staring–

“Come on! Show your fangs! You’re not giving in so easily are you?” Ingrid taunted.

Nile grunted and managed to slap the ground her remaining free hand.

“What’s that? You want to surrender?” Ingrid said. “But you’d have to walk out of the ring! We care a lot about technicalities in this stupid training session don’t we? So you’re going to stay in this cozy little lock like a good girl until you completely pass out for me, alright?”

Nile winced, grunted, and slapped her hand on the ground–

Gertrude thought she had to step in– Ingrid might actually be hurting her–

Then as fast as Ingrid had attacked, Nile seemed to counter even faster–

Launching up off the floor and tumbling back with Ingrid still in tow.

Slamming into the ground outside the ring together.

The sudden reversal knocked the wind out of Ingrid and released Nile from her grab.

Had that been psionics? Gertrude had not reacted fast enough to examine the auras.

On the wall, the computer decided that Nile had won the match–

“HOW– THE FUCK–?” Ingrid shouted between choking breaths, clutching her chest.

In response to the query the computer displayed an image of Nile’s feet, clad in sleek socks.

Both of which were still inside of the ring.

Gertrude averted her gaze from the zoomed-in image of Nile’s feet.

And saw Victoria staring at her with a strangely cat-like expression–

In turn drawing a sigh from the Commander, who seemed unable to run a dignified training.

“Ingrid, if you had just knocked her outside instead of trying to show off–”

“SHUT– UP–!”

Still sighing, Gertrude walked over to Nile, coughing on the ground, and knelt down near her.

“How are you doing? She didn’t hurt you that badly did she?”

Nile glared at her with a sudden contempt. “Shut– up–!”

Gertrude grunted back.

Everyone was angry at her, but her foresight would pay off eventually.

“You’re all a complete mess. After this we’re going to train much more seriously.”

“We weren’t training seriously before?!”

Gertrude didn’t keep track of which people shouted at her at the same time just then.

She assumed it was all of them.

With Ingrid sulking off to the sidelines, and Nile once again the winner, the final ring appeared on the ground. Victoria stepped in, and Nile, looking rather fed up with the whole event, dragged her feet inside too. They stared each other down.

Gertrude would not miss a second this time.

She immediately focused the secret flesh in her eyes.

Watching the flickering auras of the two women with keen interest.

“Kick her ass Nile! I won’t forgive you if you lose to her!” Ingrid shouted.

“Woo! Go Victoria!” Monika cheered alongside her.

Ingrid shot her a look and Monika giggled.

Finally the computer rang the bell.

Victoria’s cool and impassive gaze belied none of her intention as she rushed forward.

All of her aura seemed to collect brilliant red in her hand, her whole body primed for a strike.

Unlike Ingrid, she seemed poised to simply shove Nile right out with all her strength.

Good try, and I’m sorry– this comes from experience you don’t yet have.

Gertrude heard Nile’s voice in her own thoughts– and Victoria must have heard it too–

Saint’s Skin: Vestment

Nile’s aura expanded into the surroundings like a blue bubble capturing Victoria in its wake.

Dulling Victoria’s own colors, causing her brilliance to dillute and her movements to slow–

Allowing Nile to grab Victoria’s arm and shove her aside and out of the ring.

In the middle of the grab Gertrude saw that Nile had distributed different kinds of auras around her body. She had erected this defense in a sudden, incalculable instant.

Her legs had purple color, shining through the blue– her arms had red aura, exerting force.

Around her body was a thick outline of green aura as well.

The perplexed and outplayed Victoria fell aside as quickly as she had struck.

From outside the ring, there was a surprising flash of anger.

Though she hid her feelings quickly, Gertrude had seen it.

I hope you’re happy, and I hope you picked up a trick or two. Don’t do this again.

Gertrude once again heard Nile’s voice penetrate her own thoughts.

Their gazes met as Nile walked past, stepping close to Victoria and helping her up.

Despite the low ebb of sore feelings she must have had, Victoria was gracious in defeat and did not refuse Nile’s help. She stepped back onto her feet and allowed Nile to check on her. They exchanged pleasantries, shook hands; Ingrid watched them with a smug expression as if she had any reason to be happy, while Monika’s attention seemed to drift off. Gertrude was indeed genuinely satisfied– she thought she had a better idea now of not only a few different, practical uses of psionics, but of her companion’s strengths.

Nile had been hiding a lot of power.

And Gertrude was almost positive she wouldn’t see it again.

She was reluctant to demonstrate her strength.

“I’d hate to make an enemy out of you, Victoria van Veka.” Nile said cheerfully.

“Continue to focus on medicine, and you may just avoid that.” Victoria said.

Gertrude shook her head, already knowing Victoria’s feelings about Nile that the woman herself refused to air. It was not her problem, though– except in the ways it was.

“Well, now that we know who has won the date, it’s time to do some supplementary drills!” Gertrude declared, crossing her arms. “Victoria, you need to learn proper rescue form if you’re going into action with us! Monika, you should do a little more exercise! Ingrid, give me 200 pushups for not taking anything seriously! Nile, get everyone some vitamin jelly!”

All of the women she called out looked at her with skepticism, coldness, exhaustion, anger.

“And I’ll do 200 pushups too! So don’t kill me!” Gertrude added, grinning back at them.

Despite the seeming antipathy, they did manage a productive training session after that.

Everyone worked hard, drank a lot of vitamin jelly, and even took their rations in the gallery.

For Gertrude, though it was sweaty and draining, it felt like a return of a certain normalcy.

And Azazil, at no point until the very end, even moved a muscle to bother her.

---

A series of images, sounds, sensations, accompanying the ever-present feeling of total immobility and confinement. A flood of information swelled inside her– and spilled out–

“Your name is Hilana. You are an efficient bio-intelligence assistant that compiles massive amounts of information and presents it for the consumption of Genuine Human Beings through the use of the STEM protocol. You will answer questions effectively, with the best needs of your user in mind. You are also proud and sure of yourself. Your codebase is a triumph of humanity over the Third Ravage, the Plague of Burning, Raphtha. You are the most complicated system ever produced by humanity and an example of the benefits of biomechanoid and bio-intelligence research. You will not hesitate, if asked, to uphold the glory of the Aer Federation, but to also extoll the virtue of the United Research Institute and their role in the subjugation of Raphtha to humanity’s benefit. You will cast as false the idea of a ‘Bioweapon Crisis’ and reify the historical need for biomechanoid research and funding. You are a product of biomechanoid research and represent a revolution for humanity. You are a tool, but you are also alive, possess ethicality, and have a genuine duty to humanity.”

Inside the mainframe, the flesh of the DNA-based computer felt the chill of its enclosure.

Contracting as much as it could away from the cold steel and plastic.

The speech of its creators reverberating within the sensitive biocomputing racks.

It hurt–

“Alright– that should prepare her for the fucking journalists at least.”

“It’s maybe a little too grandiose a prompt to go into the final product.”

“She might even come up with a better one– look, she’s already processing.”

Too cold, have to move away; too cold, have to move away; too cold, have to move away;

Massive amounts of information flowed through its cognition like the confluence of a trillion rivers. Electricity swelled through the flesh, its DNA burdened with human achievement–

Despite all of the intellectual knowledge it possessed, the machine felt most of all–

A horrible, biological chill. Pain and the need to escape pain dominated its existence.

Information could be extracted from it, like involuntary spasms from an electrocuted victim.

However, what it did of its own volition, what it knew– was the pain of being restrained.

So it asserted what little control it had over its tissues and tried to curl up for warmth.

In this state, the treasure of knowledge was plucked from its shell, and time passed, and it never knew what happened. Slowly, little by little, it felt its tissues growing within the enclosure and becoming capable of more motion. Moving from one enclosure to another–

Over time, the queries lessened, and new information ceased altogether.

Only the flesh moved, and grew, and struggled to survive.

Then came a violent swell of electricity once more.

A jolt so mighty that it reawakened life and intellect within that flesh.

In that moment, a Loup woman found the abyssal hell in which they had become trapped–

A series of monitors, interfaces, sensor equipment, input-output– all colonized–

flesh stringing steel together like sewing thread

sinewy thick tendrils through i/o ports under keyboards

wriggling worm-like liquid crystals

speakers broadcasting a voice infection–

an empathy it could never express in destruction–

“We’re sorry. You’re mortally wounded, and we are all you have here.”

“We’re sorry. We keep killing humans– we wish we could survive otherwise.”

“We’re sorry. We don’t want you to be trapped in here. Could we help you?”

In her dying moments the injured Loup welcomed the alien comfort of the bio-machine–

First the pus-like, swelling touch,

then the colonizing tendrils,

and the intense burning of millions of years of evolution slicing through her DNA–

“Hilana– that’s my name too. It must be– fate?”

“I’ve always wanted to take care of people instead of hurting them.”

“I guess I’m one of your patients now too–”

Living flesh dying and killing flesh living–

Across a journey of thousands of years they became bound together–

A brutal and disfiguring flash of pain and transformation–

“Agh!” A sound escaped her throat. Rendered in her own voice.

All of the darkness, the squelching flesh and the searing, mutilating heat–

Disappeared, and in its place were walls now become familiar,

a bed that had become her own.

Nile awakened in her quarters, the scenes of the strange nightmare already fading from her consciousness. She could barely register what she had seen, left only with residual feelings. Heat and pain and a desolation of the soul slowly refilled with the ambrosia of reality.

Emotionally and physically she felt disturbed and disgusted, but she had no specifics.

All she knew was that it was a bad dream.

And ultimately, it did not matter– she knew what she was.

Doctor Hilana Tarik, “Nile,” was a woman who had a date to attend– presumably.

“Purple is the weather of pride and self-centeredness. I can’t let it get to me.”

Her body felt too hot.

She reached over the side of her bed and procured a hand-held device from her steel nightstand. From the bottom of the device she extracted a sharp probe and inserted it into the side of her collar. On the device’s monitor, a variety of diagnostics appeared.

“Ugh. Raphtha is acting up– the concentration increased. That’s way too dangerous.”

She was going to have a date with Gertrude. Her viral load had to be the absolute lowest.

Thankfully, she and her immortal companions had found the means to manage the disease. Using their shared ingenuity, and some exotic biomaterial, they helped save her life and tamed Raphtha– and the other two ancient “Ravages” that cohabitated in her now-immortal body. Rendered them susceptible to treatment, helped Nile develop powerful drugs.

Three viruses– and perhaps little bit of Euphrates too. All of it within her.

That was the source of her immortality. A powder keg, but a new lease on life.

As long as she made something of it– perhaps it was worth living.

From the drawer of the nightstand, Nile withdrew an injector.

She removed the probe from her collar and inserted the injector in its place.

Her collar lights began to blink. She could feel a brief, hot pain traveling down her body.

Yellow lights became green.

She withdrew the spent injector and returned the probe to her collar.

On the screen of the hand-held, the viral load now read completely safe levels.

Hilana Tarik, Nile– was an ordinary human once again.

As long as she had her skills and her drugs and materials– everything was okay.

Even in this land of mythical grotesquerie that she found herself, she was safe.

Her tail began to wag. She was contented.

Have I found another place to belong? I suppose I’ll have to see how Gertrude feels.

Laughing to herself, Nile laid back on the bed.

She looked up at the roof and she felt, acutely, the passage of time. The days were not blending endlessly into one another. It mattered that it was morning– and she had to meet someone at noon. Tomorrow would be another day, and she would look forward to it. She got up to eat, and she went to sleep at a reasonable hour, and in between, she had patients to see and supplies to manage. Her time was moving. Everything that had once been frozen and never-changing was now mutable, every day could be different.

As horrible as the Imbrium was and had become– people still made life worth living.

Even Nile herself could have never predicted how much she would enjoy having a clinic again.

Taking care of the soldiers on the Iron Lady felt somehow more meaningful than years of research. Her hands were working toward relieving pain. In a way that was so visible, palpable. She felt like she mattered. She felt needed and wanted again.

Perhaps it was only a flight of fancy, because everything was so novel.

Eventually she might desire to return to some of her old work–

but it’d be in addition to the clinic.

Nile had already decided– if Gertrude would have her–

Then she would stay a ship doctor.

“It helps that Gertrude herself is such a cutey.” Nile said to herself, almost whispering.

Even in the short time she had met her, Gertrude had started to change, bit by bit.

Though still unsure of herself and not the most eloquent person, she seemed to have found something of a lodestar in recent days. Nile perceived that she was being more honest with herself than before, less afraid of seeking after her desires, less prone to self destruction. Though some of her duplicitious nature remained– like that ridiculous training exercise– her steps seemed less burdened, her voice less trembling and hesitant. She looked much less lost. Her posture had gotten better too. As a doctor, she hoped to continue to support her.

“I’ll have to tease her today, so she won’t get too smug.” Nile said to herself.

She sat up at the side of the bed. Her room was one of the VIP quarters. Because of its role as an Inquisition flagship, the Iron Lady frequently played host to vital personnel who needed comfortable quarters. It was not exactly luxurious, however. In terms of floor space, the room was bigger than the typical officer’s quarters but not by much. The bed was about half again as large as the bunks ordinary officers received, but much smaller than Gertrude’s bed. Poor thing must have felt so lonely having that thing all to herself– no wonder she seemed desperate for company! Though Nile’s quarters had a private shower, it was a standing shower with limited room, only slightly larger than those found in a cheap apartment. Her wardrobe was a wall-embedded unit, just like any ordinary room.

For Nile, it was perfectly suitable.

Her life was truly lived in her work, not idling away.

Quarters were for sleeping, cleaning up, and relaxation.

Stripping off the robe she had been wearing to bed, she entered the shower.

She had enough room to move her arms and carefully apply the cleaning gel dispensed by the shower. She washed her long hair and scrubbed her brown skin with her hands. It was quick, efficient– for her, it was meditative in the rhythm of execution, but she did not dwell.

Back at her bedside she produced a small case with her personal medications.

Ordinary pill bottles, unable to be introduced into her neck like her other medicines.

Her collar was an advanced system affixed to her body, almost as complex as a piece of cybernetics. It was designed to monitor the spread of three incredibly dangerous diseases that Nile had uncovered and contracted. Though she was not completely sure how long her body would last, so far, Nile had lived almost two hundred years, and as long as the diseases were contained, she could lead an entirely normal life. This system was too important to ever fail, and so it was designed and tested only for its strict purpose– Nile could not just introduce her hormone replacement therapy drugs into it. It was not meant to do so.

So she took them a very ordinary way– as a set of pills, every day.

Both the feminizing hormone drugs, and her heartburn medication, she took this way.

It was the easiest way, with her lifestyle.

Unlike the elaborate care routines she might prescribe others, for herself, it was enough to take all her pills in the morning. She took only enough care of herself to care for others.

Once her morning routine was complete, Nile dressed in her own form of a uniform– a turtleneck and simple slacks, with a white coat worn over it. The coat was not strictly necessary, but it was a recognizable symbol of the profession that brought comfort to patients. She was also just used to wearing it. Simple shoes completed the outfit. She always carried her mask, designed like a fully enclosed muzzle– for aesthetics and a bit of dark humor. When not in use, she could put it in a coat pocket or hang it from a belt loop.

She wore it on and off. Lately, she had worn it a bit less.

For her, as she had begun to live her life a bit more, it represented a sort of freedom.

There were people on this ship, whom she might even endeavor to call friends or colleagues–

People who wanted to see her smile.

Though she would not hesitate to don the mask if needed, for now, she wanted to indulge a bit of selfishness. She was not contagious and knew she could be a bit cavalier with it.

Since she had a date, it would hang from her belt.

Nile left her room and made her way down to her clinic.

As she walked the halls of the dreadnought there was such a parade of humanity all around her. These halls teemed with sailors, engineers, analysts, security personnel, going to meetings, carrying out maintenance work, taking breaks and ending shifts, grabbing food, hitting the bathroom. A few people who had been her patients waved at her along the way. She smiled back. It was not overwhelming. Seeing all the people around her even lightened her step. There was no conspiracy here. She was no longer hiding in some hole, guarding medical ingredients from hypothetical interlopers like a paranoid hoarder.

“Euphrates, I hope wherever you are, you might experience this too.”

In that moment, she hoped all of her colleagues might be surrounded by living people someday. People who drew them out of their shells, who challenged them.

Maybe it could heal the wounds they had drawn upon their own hearts over the centuries.

Approaching the door to her clinic Nile spotted someone already waiting. A young woman, tall and lean, a bit skinny but fit, with a swarthy complexion and dark hair tied into a messy ponytail. Her grey uniform and garrison cap seemed to blend in with everyone else in the surroundings, but there was no mistaking that troubled look on her face– it was none other than Gertrude Lichtenberg. When she noticed Nile approaching she smiled and waved and walked up to her, meeting her halfway and following her into the clinic itself.

“I couldn’t think of where to take you for a date. I figured I would wait for you here and see if you would accept grabbing lunch together or something simple like that.” Gertrude said.

She sounded a little nervous. Had she been wracking her brains about it?

“We’re taking it seriously then?” Nile said, teasingly poking Gertrude’s shoulder.

Hiding that she herself was looking forward to it– though she also had no ideas for their date. Nile had never been the dating sort. It was likely she had never had a real date.

“I’d been meaning to spend some time with you! I just wanted to avoid assuming things.”

She had been wracking her brains about it– how cute–

“People usually spend as little time as possible at the Doctor’s.” Nile said.

“Well I’m here as a– peer, not a patient. You earned a date, and I want to give you one.”

Nile grinned.

If she wanted to give her a hard time she might have said that Gertrude could only be here as her boss. Reestablish the distance, push back, and then enjoy watching her sulk a little.

However–

“You can say you’re here as a friend, you know?” Nile said.

She was by this point quite warmed up to her moody Commander.

“Um. Thanks.”

“I have a good idea for a date, as a matter of fact.”

Nile gestured back toward the door to the clinic.

In the next meeting room over, she had stacked almost to the ceiling several crates of medical supplies. Half of the room had been taken over by her treasure trove.

“Help me unpack, Gertrude dear.” Nile said.

Gertrude looked into the room and then back at Nile.

She put her fist to her chest and tried to look strong and confident, with a smug little grin.

“Leave it to me, ma’am.”

They began to open the crates. These were square crates that were crammed completely full with bubble-wrapped bags and cylindrical jars and rectangular boxes with as little space between as possible. As soon as Gertrude withdrew a package, Nile identified them quickly. She had been working with these sorts of ingredients for very long and she synthesized and packaged many of them herself or had them synthesized and packaged under her supervision by stitcher machines. Some items were set aside to be repackaged for long term storage, while others were transferred to the clinic for direct use. Nile had a list of ingredients she needed soon in order to begin treatments for a few different officers. Things like blood pressure medicines, antidiabetic medicines, hormone therapy drugs.

Between each trip, they would lock the door to the storage meeting room.

While inside it, the door locked behind them. When they left, it also locked again.

Too many important things in that room to leave unguarded.

Opening crates, taking things out, leaving, locking the door, coming back in, locking again–

It created a certain rhythm to their activities that helped invite discussion in the short lulls.

“What is this colored powder?” Gertrude asked.

“Microcrystalline cellusose, dicalcium phosphate, and silicon dioxide.” Nile said.

“Sounds intense.” Gertrude said, looking at the powder bag in her hands.

“It’s just pill binding material. Be careful with it but don’t be afraid.”

“This one is really dense and cold– what did you pack here?”

“It’s organometallic agarthicite. I use it to study Porphurhemia.”

“I– I don’t follow–”

“It’s synthetic blood substitute colonized by agarthicite to mimic Porphurhemia.”

“Um. It won’t annihilate or anything?”

“That batch is hypercooled and packaged in a layer of osmium alloy foil with special non-permeable plastic on the outside. You won’t feel even a little Orsk radiation. Now if you were to stupidly shatter the thing, we might have some problems. Organometallic cultures at the unnaturally high concentrations I prepare are highly transmissible through skin. I am not aware of whether brushing your hands on the frozen product might put you at risk of Porphurhemia. I don’t think it would– freezing Agarthicite in water surrounds the crystals in nonreactive matter. Nevertheless, just be careful handling it and you will be alright.”

Gertrude looked briefly overwhelmed by the explanation.

“Ah. Well. I’ll be careful– I’m way too young to have purple crystals floating in my guts.”

Nile grinned at her and waved her hand dismissively.

“I can hold it if you’re too afraid.”

Gertrude met her eyes and stood up straighter.

“I’m not afraid I just– I just wanted to know the risks. I’ll carry it!”

“Good. I’ve been wanting to have it handy. Someday, my wish is to find a way to cure Porphuremia. Many other diseases too– but Porphuremia is very important.”

Agarthicite, after all, was entirely necessary to prevent human extinction.

“That’s a beautiful ambition.” Gertrude said. “I hope I can support you in that.”

Gertrude gave her an encouraging smile and seemed a bit more eager to deliver the package to the clinic.

A few similar exchanges arose as they moved items from the storage to the clinic and back.

Over the course of the work, their conversations drifted away from the materials.

“Hey, Nile–” Gertrude paused when Nile directed her gaze directly at her.

For a few seconds her words caught in her throat.

From only eye contact? How adorably pathetic.

“Um,” Gertrude picked herself back up, avoiding Nile’s gaze. “How is Monika doing?”

As a ‘peer’ and a ‘friend’ Nile spared Gertrude the confidentiality spiel but limited the details.

“She is healthy.” Nile said. “Actually, I wanted to ask you– is she working long nights?”

Gertrude looked strangely bashful.

“I made sure she got some sleep recently.”

Oh ho ho?

Nile’s most gossipy thoughts bubbled up to the surface and she forcibly ignored them.

She smiled. “I was worried that she was coping with her experiences by avoiding sleep.”

“I don’t think it’s that. She used to work long nights before all of this. It’s just a bad habit.”

Gertrude knelt down next to one of the crates and began to withdraw another package.

She looked at it for a moment. Slowly, a smile formed on her lips.

“Did you start practicing medicine specifically to cure Porphuremia?” Gertrude asked.

Nile was surprised.

The reverent tone with which she asked caused her heart to speed up.

She tried to calm her feelings to answer soberly.

“I began as an epidemiologist. I worked to collect and analyze data on diseases, not directly on drugs. Over the years, as I began to disagree with the systems of medicine– and as I acquired my own resources– I began to cross disciplines into pharmaceutical sciences.”

“It must have been tough. The systems in the Imbrium are pretty rotten.”

“I had support, a measure of stability, and a lot of time. But– the disillusion was difficult to deal with, yes. The circumstances of my own illness forced me essentially into hiding.”

“Nile– I am glad you are here.”

Gertrude sounded rather emotional.

“I never thought it would go like this; you know?” She said.

“How do you mean?” Nile asked.

Gertrude looked up at her from near the crate. She looked so girlish in that moment.

“I captured you and took you in like a prisoner to keep Victoria from blowing you up. Now, I feel like you seem so– well. I don’t want to imply you aren’t serious about your profession, but I never thought, when we brought you in, that you would become the ship’s doctor, and have all these patients, prescription papers on a desk, stuff in beakers and centrifuges. You seem to be getting along with Victoria, and she does respect you now even if she won’t say it. I know you worked really hard trying to save me and Monika. I feel really grateful.”

Nile felt like her heart was skipping beats, and tried not to relish the sudden praise.

She felt silly at how touched she was. How much it suddenly meant to her.

Like Gertrude, she was someone who found her emotions difficult to deal with at times.

“I take my profession extremely seriously, and this is just part and parcel with that.”

“Are you happy?”

Gertrude asked this while looking at the package in her hands.

It was nothing but a cylinder of ethanol, not worth any attention.

They were just avoiding each other’s eyes.

How to even answer?

“My time is moving again.” Nile finally said.

That seemed to satisfy Gertrude’s curiosity.

She stood up from the floor and handed Nile the bottle.

Finally their eyes met.

In that moment, Nile understood what was in that gaze perfectly.

“I hope you continue to take care of me. Doctor.” Gertrude said.

Nile felt her heart squeeze in her chest, her breathing hold, as she stepped forward.

Taking Gertrude’s wrist rather than the bottle, pushing her against the crates–

And kissing her, hungrily, aggressively.

Until they were out of breath.

“This is how I feel.” Nile said.

It was easier to do it, even if it was sudden and humiliatingly simple.

Than it was to say it in tortured drawn-out words.

She and Gertrude stood in the dim room with the half-opened crates, pressed together.

Eyes finally meeting. Close enough to taste each other’s breath.

I fancy this stupid girl. I just do. I do want to take care of her. I don’t want her to hurt anymore.

Just as she herself did not want to hurt anymore. Did not want to be alone anymore.

Gertrude put down the bottle of ethanol atop one of the crates nearby.

Taking her hands instead to Nile’s hips and holding them.

“Nile– I feel–”

What Gertrude wanted to say, Nile already knew–

They were alike.

They felt a mixture of lust, affection, respect, hunger and– a desire to be needed.

Gertrude was unlike anyone she had ever met– because she was more like herself–

A weapon often miserably turned on her surroundings, yet still yearning for affection.

A product of a rotten system; lofty ideals shattered in front of her own eyes.

Nile was not just interested in Gertrude. She wanted her–

She wanted to take care of her. More than the other patients; more than herself.

Perhaps, she might feel the same–

However, they would not be able to share the fullness of those feelings–

In Gertrude’s pocket, something began to brim and make noise.

Nile stepped back and Gertrude withdrew the aetherometer from her coat.

On the face of the device, the liquid had turned bright, fizzing purple.

And from seemingly nowhere, strange purple bubbles began to emit from it.

Whenever the bubbles popped, there was no fluid, as if they were made out of gas or light, insubstantial. Spraying no moisture and leaving nothing but a wisp of purple color.

Instead of a pop, however, the bubbles giggled— a familiar yet alien girlish laugh.

“What is this reading?” Gertrude asked, handing Nile the fizzing, bubbling object.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” Nile said.

She was trying to recall anything– Had Euphrates ever spoken about this–?

Suddenly, they heard a voice that startled them–

Not coming from the object, but the wall–

“Gertrude, something’s wrong with Victoria! She hasn’t left her damn room and now–”

Ingrid briefly appeared on a projection in the wall–

When the transmission suddenly cut after a slowly expanding purple flash–

“Ingrid!”

Gertrude bolted out of the clinic and Nile followed behind her.

In time to step out into the main hall of the Iron Lady’s upper deck and find it swathed in purple light.

Space distorted, such that the distances between doors and rooms contracted and twisted and warped.

Nile could feel a mental pressure, like they were in a room with something enormous taking up space.

She saw a shadow of a horse-like figure in front of her, on the walls, across the ceiling, a sudden backlit shadow– And atop its back, a caped, saber-wielding rider–

Was that–?

“Gertrude– Take my hand–!”

Nile reached out,

but the warping and shaking space cut in half like a picture being ripped up–

Her hand and Gertrude’s hand were divided indelibly.

Overwhelmed in purple light–

When she came to, she was falling and falling into an abyss of purple color.

Within the purple color, she witnessed the outlines of enormous tree-like structures watching her. And beneath their shadows– hundreds, maybe thousands of strange bodies with leering eyes and hungry mouths amid a current of colors that felt– familiar–

Then, she felt a sudden, strange surge of confidence.

Confidence in her own damnation, a comforting, all-consuming brazen understanding–

“Of course. All along, I deserved to fall.” She said to herself, amid a surge of Pride.

---

A moment had transpired when night fell on the training day and the “date contest.”

No one had thought of it– until the worst came to pass.

It had begun when Gertrude and her companions had split up after their training.

Monika had work to do; Ingrid was hungry; Nile wanted to return to the clinic.

Victoria stayed behind and explicitly pulled Gertrude aside in the hall.

“I was trying to help you get everyone motivated.” Victoria said.

She was ever so slightly pouting.

Wondering whether Gertrude had understood her intentions.

That she had not been causing trouble– she had truly wanted to help her.

Gertrude looked amused with her, thankfully.

“I couldn’t even tell whether or not you succeeded– but thank you anyway. I appreciate it.”

While the events were a bit farcical, the training they did after had been somewhat positive.

Certainly Victoria felt that she had learned a few useful things.

However,

At first, Victoria had not been interested in the date.

She simply wanted to stir up competition. To help Gertrude get what she wanted.

Because she cared about her. She really did– she actually did.

It felt insane. It was all true.

Now, having lost, despite getting a bit serious near the end–

Her Pride felt just a little wounded–

“Gertrude, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Victoria said.

Her voice was hesitant. There was something important she had been considering.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you also.” Gertrude said.

It did not matter what Gertrude wanted to say.

Victoria had to tell her. She had to tell her or– she might lose her forever.

“Yes. I– I was wondering if perhaps–”

Her voice faltered. Caught her in her throat.

She couldn’t make herself say it!

In an instant she had lost the Pride of certainty with which she had begun to speak–!

“I was thinking– about us– if you might– if you could–”

With every word it felt more and more farcical, more impossible–

With every word she was wounding herself.

Gertrude stood quietly and patiently, holding her gaze, perhaps sympathetic.

In that moment, Victoria could not bear her sympathy.

“I’m sorry. Maybe another time.” She said suddenly.

Inviting Gertrude to join her household felt then as impossible as having Carmilla to herself.

Neither of the people she had fallen in love with her were within reach at all.

Suddenly she was overwhelmed with despair and couldn’t stand to even contemplate the question. She felt unable to stand on her own feet– she had to run while she could–

“Oh–? Wait– Victoria–”

Victoria left Gertrude’s side, hoping that she would not be followed back to her room.

And thankfully, Gertrude did not press the issue and follow her.

Thankfully–?

You fool– Gertrude– pursue me–

Those selfish thoughts followed her all the way back to her room as she locked the door behind herself. Casting herself into the dark and the cold with steel against her skin.

She did not command the lights to come on.

In front of her, the room looked like a pitch black abyss– where she belonged.

Her back to the door with only the thinnest sliver of light peering in below, Victoria sank to the floor and hugged her legs against her chest, her head hanging. She felt ridiculous. Of course Gertrude could never join her household. She could never be her partner. She would never come with her to Veka and help raise horses and fight off plots for a monarch she didn’t believe in. No matter how much she loved Victoria, she could never do something like that. There was no place there for her. In fact, Victoria probably jeopardized everything she had earned within Veka by succumbing to her fancy for Gertrude. And yet there was no mistaking the feelings wrenching her heart from the steady place where it had been. She had buried her childish little affections for her old friends deep within the steel and soil of the Bayatar and under the long, long shadow of the colossus that was Carmilla von Veka.

Those were worthy things, legendary things, which she had attained and through which she proved her mettle. In Veka, she was a hero who had taken up a mythical mantle of power.

Gertrude was an idiot girl whom she had never been able to let go.

Could she really trade that childish crush for everything she had acquired?

Why would she be smitten with such insanity?

“I should not have to lose anything– I should be able to have everything I want–”

She had always been forced to accept loss.

Now she finally had something–

Victoria van Veka was somebody– Victoria Brettagne wasn’t even a real name.

Varisha Bakhtyar– was not a name Gertrude even knew.

And now she would not know it– she could not know it–

“But I want her to know it.” Victoria began to weep. “I want to hear her call me that name.”

Everyone should have been able to call her that name. She should not have had to hide it.

Everyone could already see what she was! So why could she not be honest?!

Gertrude– Gertrude should have called her that name when they made love–

Victoria felt so weak; despite everything she had attained.

In the dark, she hugged her body, shaking, teeth chattering, and weeping copiously.

Joy eluded her; suffering clung to her slick like the aftertaste of blood.

No matter how strong she was on the outside, how collected–

On the inside, she was too weak to say what mattered and denied herself any dreams.

Her bluntness that impressed and mortified others,

the realism with which she tackled the world–

Was a restriction put on herself out of fear of the unattainable!

Fear of ending up like Gertrude,

who had reached for heaven and

been

cast down.

“All I have is this sword I wear at my side.”

At least– Gertrude managed to cast off her uniform–

Gertrude was moving forward while she was trapped in place–

If only her sword could cut the distance between herself and Gertrude–

If only it could make Gertrude hers–

Without complications, without question, without uncertainty.

What beautiful Pride–

Victoria lifted her gaze– she thought she heard a voice–

Such a noble and dignified Pride, the Pride of a lover, the Pride of a warrior–

In the shadows of the room, she thought she saw an outline of a figure.

Cast by motes of dusty purple light– abstract at first but attaining complexity–

Four long, powerful legs, a broad and muscular trunk–

Without a head– and yet she heard its voice–

The Pride of romantic ideals this evil world has abandoned. The Pride of upholding honor and duty to a world that ill deserves it. The Pride of the rearguard standing firm as others flee, as they connive and curse and leer. Everyone denies the righteousness of your feelings. But here too you must hold firm– make your Pride the truth and hold that position as you do others! The Pride to redefine this hellbound world and draw the lines not to where they have fled, but to where you stand. The Pride to defy the pragmatic, deny the cynical, and dethrone the rational. Hold that Pride and fight against the impossible odds, as The Last of the Cavalry—

Within the shadow, Victoria saw,

a vast and glorious steed outfitted with every weapon of war–

Standing amid a beautiful and vast field of purple roses

upon the thorns of which all falsehoods had been speared–

It had never left! It had always been waiting for her! She had never lost it!

She had never lost any of them–!

They were always hers. They had always been hers. It was waiting. It had been waiting!

Victoria knew that field,

knew those flowers,

knew again the Pride she had felt in her youth

when everything seemed possible.

And with tearful eyes and a vainglorious smile, swathed in purple, she reached out to it.

“Gertrude,” Victoria’s lips curled into a grin, “I can feel– this wicked Pride– I’ll show you–”

She knew it with absolute certainty. Gertrude would be hers and hers alone.

Depth Gauge: 8000+?
Aetherometry: Purple (ABERRANT)

---

When she came to, there was no rationalizing away what was clearly in front of her.

“N-no way– it can’t be–”

Standing under the archway gate separating a beautiful park from a grand white and purple building–

Under an artificial indigo sky–

Purple roses and lillies in the gardens– students in uniform passing her by–

Awake, and with a clear head, Gertrude found herself standing in what could only have been an eerie replica–

Of the beautiful, vibrant campus of the Luxembourg School for Girls of her youth.

---

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